Lube: which one, and how much

Lube is the cheapest upgrade available to you, and it is the one almost everybody skips.

It is not an admission that something is wrong. It makes nearly everything better, it protects the surface of whatever you have bought, and it is the difference between a good evening and a slightly grim one.

There are three kinds. Two of them will quietly ruin things if you pair them wrongly.

Water based. The default.

Safe with everything we sell. Safe with condoms. Washes off with water and leaves nothing behind.

If you buy one bottle and never think about this subject again, buy this one.

The trade off is that it absorbs and evaporates, so it needs topping up. That is the deal rather than a fault. A splash of water on your hand will reactivate most of them, which is usually easier than adding more.

Silicone based. Lasts longer, fewer friends.

Slippery for far longer, does not dry out, and excellent in a bath or shower because it does not simply wash away.

But it can degrade a silicone surface over time and leave it tacky or pitted. Keep silicone lube and silicone toys apart unless the maker specifically says otherwise. It is perfectly fine on glass and steel.

It is also harder to get off skin, and much harder to get out of sheets.

Oil based. Mostly a no.

Oil destroys latex condoms. Not weakens. Destroys, and quickly. If a condom is involved anywhere in the evening, oil is out entirely.

It is also difficult to wash off and it stains fabric with real commitment.

Hybrids

Mostly water with a little silicone in it, aiming at the longevity of one and the compatibility of the other.

They are pleasant. Just read the label against what you own: if silicone appears in the ingredients, treat the whole bottle as silicone and keep it away from your silicone toys.

How much

More. Genuinely more than you are currently using.

Start with more than feels necessary, and top up before it feels like it is needed rather than after. Friction that has already started is uncomfortable to fix halfway through.

Anything anal takes considerably more than you would use anywhere else, and it needs reapplying more often, because there is no natural lubrication involved at all. This is not the place to be sparing.

What to look at on the label

Plain and unscented is the safer default. Flavours, warming ingredients and tingling ingredients are all perfectly fine for plenty of people, and they are also the usual suspects when somebody finds a lube does not agree with them.

If a lube stings, stop using it and wash it off. That is not something to push through to see whether it settles down.

The short version

Water based unless you have a specific reason. Never silicone lube on a silicone toy. Never oil near a condom. Use more than you think, and top it up early.

The compatibility rules come from the same place as everything else we say about materials, which is what body safe actually means.